you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
