apparently the secret to your success is patron
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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