I'm so fucking centered right now
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
