And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
