she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
