My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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