Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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