I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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