The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
