he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
