my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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