I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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