you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's never too late to be topless.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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