please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize