I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
