Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
