have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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