you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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