I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
