8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
God I need to hump something, right now.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
