i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
