I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
