my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
