It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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