Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
4 words: hood of his car
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
