She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
