I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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