Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
