I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize