the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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