I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
