I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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