he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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