HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm always down for nudity.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
