Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
