i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I AM VODKA MAN
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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