ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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