I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
