i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
