wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My balls are so social today.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
