Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
