i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
