It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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