worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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