I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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