She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize