Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
