You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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