hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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