Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize