Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
