i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
