I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
