I swear she didn't look like that last week.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so let's talk penis.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
