Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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