My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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