i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
