I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
