When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
