I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
