he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
