My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
